Saturday Morning with Lump & Loaf

Welcome to Loaf's and Lump's house!

There's extra-strong coffee in the carafe, Meg's making scrambled eggs in a bread basket, and Loaf is busy charging at Jehovah's witnesses who come to the door (while Lump hides under the comforters).

All in all, just a typical Saturday morning.

The Top 6 Ways to Store Your Lump

#6: In a bag. Paper or plastic will do.

#5: In your suitcase.

#4: In the linen closet, next to the toilet paper.

#3: In your violin case.

#2: In the bathtub.

Preferably a dry one.

And the #1 way to store your Lump is... obviously, in a box.

  

Any box will do.

Oh, come on Lump, that's not even a box yet!

Much better.

Remember, storing your Lump in any other fashion voids the manufacturer's warranty. It's right there in the Cat Owner's Manual.

...What, your cat didn't come with a manual?

Loaf's English Dictionary

Like dogs, cats can learn the meaning of English words when they hear them enough.

For example, a dog can learn to recognize the word "car," and get excited about driving around town with its tongue flopping in the breeze. To that dog, the definition of "car" is "moving tongue-flapping thing," or something along those lines.

Similarly, cats attach their own unique meanings to words they hear their people say.

Lump recognizes the word "walk." Upon hearing this word, he will usually sprint to the back door, where his leash is hanging, and jingle it insistently until you take him outside.

To Loaf, "treats" used to mean "that time of night when I follow Kelly out of the bathroom into her bedroom, and wait expectantly for her to give me a treat, which I seize, often chomping her fingertips in the process."

However, tonight, a new definition was added. "Treats" is when Kelly sticks her hand out and Loaf bites her fingertips - whether or not a treat is actually present.

Oh, Loaf...